


in the small moments, i see you

by blooming_Ednae



Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: F/M, Okakuri Week 2018, VERY late post from last year whoops, forgot to transfer over from tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 21:24:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19776715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blooming_Ednae/pseuds/blooming_Ednae
Summary: The small moments that happen each day make a large difference along the way. For Okabe and Kurisu, it's these small moments that begin to define their relationship into a whole.Or alternatively, prompts from OkaKuri Week 2018.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ...so this is a very long overdue post. I completely forgot to transfer over my OkaKuri Week 2018 prompts; with OkaKuri Week 2019 just around the corner, I figure that it's about time I post these here, oops.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! I'll be participating in OkaKuri Week again this year, so I hope to post those here a little bit more on time, lol.

_ “The phone number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable-” _

Wordlessly, Kurisu brought the phone away from her ear, flipping it closed without so much of a second glance towards it. Looking out towards the city below, she squinted against the setting rays of the sun, her gaze unfocused as her thoughts became clouded with a mix of emotion. 

It had been one year, but even with the extensive time between then and now, the disconnect between herself and her father felt even more sudden and realistic when visiting Japan. Being in the US allowed herself to be distanced both physically and emotionally from familiar childhood cities; but the nostalgic feel of Japan became too surreal, and all the more confirmed her unsettled and incomplete closure of feelings about her father.

She clutched her phone tightly against her chest; what was he doing now? Did he hate her so much that he purposely and permanently disconnected his phone number away from her? Did he ever think of her at all anymore…?

Inhaling a sharp intake of breath, she stepped away from the rooftop’s railing and sat on the bench, close to the laundry line which were strung with various clothing. In her peripheral vision, the tail end of an all too-familiar white lab coat swayed in the wind as it continued to dry in the impending summer night’s heat. A hint of warmth and reminiscence trickled its way into her heart, a feeling she began to become familiar with in the last past year.

  
And for a moment’s reprieve, the anxiety fell away when the thought of his smile flashed in her mind; he was silly and extremely obnoxious, but also becoming and surprisingly mature, for all of her first impressions of him. There were so many aspects about him that led him to be as revealing as an open book, but so many other unsaid words that reflect on his expressions from time to time, and, as her curiousity usually is, she wanted to know more about him.

What was a simple curiosity led to a relationship they were both prepared and unprepared for; they were awkward, shy, and extremely inexperienced, but it was something she always looked towards with anticipation. Their relationship, she realized, was something of a journey to be learned from, and each day with him (both together and apart) gave her a reason to keep moving forward.

His silence gradually and slowly became voiced, the more she began to know him, and it was, in her opinion, one of his highlighted traits she enjoyed of him. His silence spoke volumes, causing her to want to understand him more, as each silence she encountered with him often gave way to words and a smile that revealed the real Okabe Rintarou. 

A vibration in her hand broke her from her thoughts as she realized her phone rang a notification, jarring her from her thoughts. It was enough to send her reeling back into the reality of the situation, a heart-wrenching feeling twisting in her chest as she realized why she had come to the rooftop

She wanted closure, and now she knew that her strained relationship with her father will forever be an unfinished sentence in her life, a realization dawning on her with a heaviness she couldn’t grasp.

As her breathing turned into a hiccupped gasp of an onset of tears, the sound of the rooftop door opening and closing vaguely caught her attention. She continued to grasp her phone on her lap, even as her visitor came by, stopping just before her.

“Assistant, I expect an instant message-”

The sound of his words fell on deaf ears as the hiccups formed into soft sobs, an uncharacteristic action of hers as the tears began to fall from her eyes. The sound of his voice made the tears flow more uncontrollably; the familiarity of his voice was enough to have her lose control as she brought her hands to her face without so much looking at him.

Silently, she felt the weight of the bench give way to her right as he sat next to her wordlessly.

“I...I…”

The words failed to escape her mouth as she tried to speak, but all she saw were vague and mixed moments of her happier times of her father up until the last moment of him pointing a weapon towards her, an anticipated action meaning harm. And she knew, she most definitely knew that if it weren’t for Okabe-

She just shook her head as she felt her tears continue, letting them fall without holding back. The weighted silence that began to form between them layered itself around them in a solitary way; it was only their world, her situation, that was only for the two of them, as heavy as it was.

The sudden feeling of light touch against her arm broke her from her thoughts for a moment, as she realized he had scooted himself closer to her, his arm barely grazing against hers. He merely sat in silence next to her as her tears began to become more intermittent versus continuous, a small gesture she knew was an effort from him that meant so much more than it portrayed. 

He was silent next to her as her tears began to slow down, and as she leaned next to him onto his shoulder, she sighed, realizing that this was all the comfort she needed.


	2. Domestic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Day 2, "domestic!".

“...I still honestly think the more firm one would be better.”

“How many times have I told you, Assistant, the softer kind has better texture for putting things in-”

“But the more firm one keeps its shape better! Plus, it feels better than the soft one.”

At this, he eyed Kurisu suspiciously. “Because you would know-”

“W-what, shut up!” Kurisu responded, immediately catching on to his phrase; she shoved him on the shoulder, expression deepening with a crimson tint as she took a look around their surroundings. “I forget how much of a  _ pervert _ you are, bringing that up in  _ public _ of all places.”

Okabe scoffed, hardly in disagreement to what he was implying intentionally earlier. “I’m not the one who’s implying things-”

“Who’s implying things, now?” She asked cooly with a piercing gaze, causing him to quiet down. Sighing, she leaned on the grocery cart and she took one glance at the shelf once more, giving one pat on her abdomen.

“Look, just get...whatever one. I can barely keep standing here trying to decide on this.”

He glanced at her momentarily before nodding towards the entrance. “Why don’t you just sit outside? I’ll have Daru push this thing around since he’s the one that decided to tag along.”

Kurisu shook her head. “It’s better for me to walk around; it just gets really heavy when we’re just standing here arguing over stuff like deciding on which  _ tofu _ texture to get-”

“And that’s why,” Okabe took the chance to interject, “I suggest on the soft one because it’s a smoother consistency.”

Kurisu rolled her eyes. “Again, the more firm one has less water content and it’s easier to handle; you can’t do much of anything with the softer one.”

“...what can you not do with what, now?”

Kurisu let out a small yelp as Daru came up from behind, basket full of items. She sighed.

“Nothing. And why did you even decide to come today?”

Daru low whistled. “Harsh, real harsh...I’m just being the good husband since Yuki has to take care of Suzuha at home.” Taking another glance at Kurisu, he spoke up, pondering. 

“Say, are you in a weird mood swing thing right now, because Yuki got a lot of that too when she was pregnant-”

She glared at him. “I am  _ not _ ; I just want this  _ idiot here _ to listen to me when I say that the firm one maintains its shape better than the soft one.”

Okabe groaned in response, clearly over the argument. “Christina, the firm one doesn’t last longer than the other so in the end it doesn’t even matter-”

“Exactly!” Kurisu exclaimed. “It doesn’t matter,” Turning to Daru, she nodded towards Okabe. 

“Please tell me you heard that.”

Daru scratched his chin in thought before pushing up his glasses and grinning.

He cleared his throat. “Could you say, ‘the firm one’, one more time?”

“The firm one…?” Okabe answered on instinct, without thinking. 

At this, Kurisu rolled her eyes as she heard a horrified Daru yelling at Okabe, telling him to “take it back!”, pushing the cart forward and leaving the other two behind. 

“It’s 2018,” she said as she momentarily looked back at both of them, “and I can’t believe we’re still talking like this.”   
  


Daru threw his hands up in the air in frustration. “I had to break the domestic shit, somehow! All you normies arguing about tofu, of all items…”

Okabe ignored the rest of Daru’s mumbling and watched as Kurisu walked away, trying to avoid the faces of a few onlookers that began to stare at them. Sighing, he grabbed the firm tofu off the shelf as he walked past Daru in an attempt to catch up with his now frustrated wife.

“...this is the choice of Steins;Gate, after all.”


	3. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3, "Promise".

The gentle ocean breeze seeped its way through the balcony doors, wafting a warm scent of the salt water and sand into their room. The sun had set a while back, tinting the sky with a dim red and purple mix as the onset of night made its way overhead; nothing was heard except for the distant sounds of the ocean waves crashing on the shore, the occasional seagull cawing out as the night came about, getting dimmer by the second. 

The dimness went unnoticed by them, however, as they laid in bed over the covers listening to the sounds of the ocean waves. They had been like that for almost the past hour since the sun had set; initially, they had wanted to watch the sun set and after it did, he decided to lay down to relax a bit after a long day and she had followed, snuggling up next to him and resting her head on his shoulder with her arm lightly placed across his slightly unbuttoned shirt, some of the warmth in her hand permeating through. In response, he wrapped his arm around her as he placed his hand against the small of her back, ever so lightly touching the seams of her sundress that she was wearing.

She had closed her eyes shortly after she came up next to him and he assumed she had dozed off listening to the sounds of the waves. The night’s darkness began to creep its way into the room where none of the lights were lit to begin with and he vaguely thought about standing up to turn them on, but immediately dismissed the thought as he realized he enjoyed having her by his side a lot more than he wanted to admit. 

He kicked down the part of his pants that were slightly rolled up, attempting to cover the rest of his legs; he had rolled them up earlier to douse his feet for a bit in the water earlier, but with the night growing cooler and no signs of moving any time soon, he felt his feet were more bare than usual and attempted to cover up some part of his ankles and feet as best he could without waking her.

After finally unrolling his pant legs and covering his cold ankles, he sighed, noticing the darkness now mostly in the room, with only a bit of light from the outside city lights. He adjusted his arm and pulled her slightly closer to him as she slightly moved and re-positioned herself to be closer to the crook of his neck, eyes still closed as she continued to sleep next to him. Taking one glance down at her, he instinctively planted a kiss on her head, prolonging the moment and taking his time as he did so.

It had only been two weeks since they’ve been officially married; to him, calling her his  _ wife _ needed some practice as he realized he was ultimately  _ living _ with her everyday for the rest of his life. It was a wild concept that he hadn’t let sink in yet, and he knew deep down, she felt the same. After having a long distance relationship for so many years, the concept of seeing each other everyday for the rest of their lives was surreal and sudden, but so far, as far as he could tell, everything fell so naturally without awkwardness or extreme annoyance (other than the daily banters, she hadn’t killed him yet so he assumed everything was good so far, at least). 

Of course, their current situation may also be a contributor to a certain degree; after all, being in Hawaii on a  _ honeymoon _ would most certainly add on to the lighter mood they found themselves in.

He scrunched up his face in discontent for a split moment, and decided to take that thought back.

In actuality, he just believed they were just meant for each other, no matter the situation or other influences.

Sighing once more, he gazed back up towards the ceiling and blinked through the dimness. The thoughts he had running through his mind became endless loops and he found himself opening his mouth to speak.

“Hey, Kurisu…”

When he received no response other than a slight twitch on her left hand that was still placed on top of his slightly unbuttoned shirt, he shrugged and continued.

“You may be sleeping and you may not hear all this, but I’ll say it anyway.”

He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them once more.

“The past eight years I’ve come to know you have been more than what I could’ve asked for; I never thought, most especially after the way I first met you, that I would be lying here with you.”

He sighed. “You’re intelligent, witty, independent, strong, and above else, so driven to what you believe in that it was hard for me to believe that I, someone who may be just the complete opposite of you, would end up being with you.”

“I don’t have regrets, of course,” he continued. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and no one has ever had me reeling in the first few seconds of meeting someone.”

“I’ve told you, right?” He laughed to himself. “The reason why I couldn’t say your first name at all was because I was embarrassed. From the first moment I met you, and in the following days I got to know you afterwards, I fell for you. I may have not realized it right away, but when I did, I knew there was no turning back.”

“You took my breath away the first time I met you; took my heart away the moment I realized I fell for you; and took my mind away the moment I almost lost you. But, in return, you gave me your heart the first time you kissed me, and that was enough to revive everything else that came from me that embodied you.”

He took a breath before continuing. “The eight years we’ve had together were some of the most reviving years I’ve experienced; we didn’t know what we were doing half the time, but I think that was part of the fun in this learning experience.”

For a split moment, he felt her move a bit and could’ve sworn he saw her smile at his comment, but he chose to ignore it, pulling her a bit closer.

“Yeah, I know,” he continued, “I didn’t initiate a lot of our conversations overseas at first; I wasn’t great at showing my emotions, and I most especially didn’t know how to take you out without it making it seem like we were just hanging out as friends and nothing else.”

“But, you’ve taught me a lot. And I know, vice versa, you’ve told me you’ve observed me, as well. In the end, we’re just two blundering scientists that are constantly experimenting on our own daily lives without us knowing it.”

“Even so,” he breathed, “I think that’s the best part of what’s happening now. We don’t know what to expect and, like I’ve said before...the future is uncertain, making its potential infinite. But, I think that’s what makes it so exhilarating; it’ll be a constant experiment without a definitive, set end.”

For a moment, he looked down and caught the glimmer of the rings on her left hand; it made his emotions swirl in an indefinite explanation, and he casted his gaze at the ceiling once more.

“Finding words to my thoughts are almost non-existent; and so, that’s why I’ll simply say this.”

In the corner of his eye, her left hand that was placed on his chest curled into a light fist, and he smiled, knowing she wasn’t being as discrete as she thought she was. He turned his head and gave one more light kiss on top of her head before murmuring his next few words.

“Kurisu, I love you. I’ve said it repeatedly before, but I’ve meant it each time. Even if the world line shifts, I’ll still remember you. Even if my Reading Steiner activates and I’m in a new year, I’ll still find you. And even if we’re somehow separated in this worldline, whether it be for work or for some other reason, I’ll strive to return to you.”

“Because in the end,” he lowered his voice even more to her, “I love you no matter what world line or time we’re in; you mean more to me than I could ever express.”

“All I have, I give to you.”

As he breathed his last sentence, he rested his chin on top of her head, listening to her steady breathing. There was a momentary reprieve of a pause in the air between them, caught in the middle of his emotions and her false silence. He didn’t dare call her out on it, though; he merely needed to let it out before the words were gone and deep down, he could care less if he sounded silly. Because to him, the world at that moment belonged to them; their own existence at the same time, together in one room, highlighted how they managed to beat fate and time itself.

Just when he realized he had closed his eyes and began to almost doze off, he felt her move beneath him, as she moved her head up to face him. Even in the darkness, he could make out her amethyst eyes, full of breathtaking wonder and comfort.

He could tell her eyes spoke volumes of unspoken words she hardly expressed in their relationship. Despite that, he knew; he knew how she felt, how she understood, how she came to know everything he meant.

She smiled up at him, an action which always caused his heart to swell, and she clutched his shirt, nodding a bit as she did so. With a shaky voice, she responded to him in a quieted voice.

“And I promise, with everything that I have, to do the same.”

She raised her hand up to caress his cheek and face him towards her, smiling a bit more as she did so.

“...also, you’re an idiot, you know that? Because I love you more than you actually know.”

He chuckled at her response, and before he could catch himself, he leaned forward to close the space between them, her reciprocating in tandem with him. The world was theirs at the moment, he thought again vaguely, as he trailed kisses down pass her collarbone, her responding with a hitched catch of breath. The amount of words that could no longer express the emotions he tried to convey ended up converting themselves into action, and she understood as he connected his gaze with her once more and she smiled, slightly laughing as he gazed at her in question one last time before anything else.

He found himself grinning, and then laughing at the simple action, deciding once more to kiss her again before anything else, her in agreement to everything he had done.

All it took was love to make his world just a little more mad in his scientist mind; and all it took was acceptance to realize that was the key thing they both needed in their lives.


	4. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Day 4, "Drunk".

The door to the study creaked open as Suzuha stepped inside slowly, eyeing her surroundings. What was a master bedroom converted into a study specifically was now littered with papers with scribbles of research all over the walls. Two white boards were posted on two different walls, mirroring each other, also filled with random comments and ideas never produced into fruition. 

The floor was similar in disarray, mirroring what reflected on the walls into a disorganized mess all around. The books were surprisingly still in organized stacks along the bookshelves that were present; however, some stray papers littered the floor. What caught her eye, however, was the one stray (now empty) bottle that rolled itself closer to the entrance of the door.

Sighing, Suzuha picked up one and walked towards the individual sitting at the desk, who was currently pouring more alcohol into the shot glass, working her way through the second bottle, which was now at the halfway mark. She drank the shot quickly and had a momentary, scrunched up expression before breathing out in satisfaction. When she saw Suzuha walk up next to the desk, Kurisu laughed, smiling at her arrival.

“Ohhhh?” Kurisu slowly expressed. “And what brings you here tonight? Care to join me?”

With that, she waved to a nearby chair and Suzuha nodded, bringing it up next to Kurisu. She regarded her as she poured another shot, and Kurisu offered a bit. Suzuha shook her head in response, and with a wave of her hand, she gestured to the messy room.

“You’re drunk.”

Kurisu laughed at this, and she shrugged. “I’d like to call it ‘tipsy’”, she responded as she took the glass and downed yet another shot. 

Suzuha frowned as she watched her. Just as Kurisu was about to pour yet another shot in front of her, she quickly grabbed her wrist, stopping her from pouring and looked her in the eye.

“I think that’s enough,” she responded cooly, staring at her with an unwavering gaze. Kurisu hesitated, and then willingly complied as she placed the bottle back down on the table, rubbing her temples as she did so. Closing her eyes for a moment, she sighed before opening her eyes in a downward cast gaze.

“So? What did you come in for? I’m assuming it’s not to join me since you never have before…”

She rubbed her eyes a bit before glancing up at the walls before her, scribbles of a forbidden idea sprawled across the pages, all with words that she forbade to ever leave the four walls of the study. Sighing, she stood up to pick up one that was pinned on the wall above the desk, unsteady on her feet for a moment until she felt Suzuha stabilize her throughout the whole task of retrieving the sheet. 

As Suzuha helped Kurisu back to be seated on the desk chair, she watched her again, sighing as she did so. 

How many years has it been? Every year since she was born, probably? Suzuha couldn’t remember a year where Kurisu didn’t drink on this specific day; each year when she was younger, her father always instructed her to stay away from the study. Of course, Suzuha saw firsthand two years ago that Kurisu was indeed  _ not  _ a harmful individual when drunk, but she realized that her father didn’t just want to protect her from that; he wanted to protect her from what she would would see both physically and emotionally from Kurisu.

Disheveled hair, eyebags that deepened in color with the slightest alcohol intake, and eyes so devoid of life that it was hard to believe that she was still attempting to  _ smile _ in the stupor state she was in. The way she laughed so bitterly, how she began to intake more alcohol throughout the years with a higher tolerance, how her eyes would tear up on their own without her own self even noticing-

It was heartbreaking to watch, Suzuha concluded, to see her role model and her aunt to be wasting away in such a manner.

Suzuha watched as Kurisu studied the paper before her; the words “OR 204” lined the top and the familiar sketch of the contraption of the so-called time machine filled the page. She had only seen the machine twice since it’s completion a few years ago, but it had never been used. Occasionally, she’d see her go down to run maintenance on it, but never did she actually use it. 

And it bothered Suzuha, really. Why make a machine that would never be used? Why create a piece that could easily be stolen and manipulated by others?   
  


There was no doubt in her mind that the machine was created perfectly; she admired Kurisu and her bright mind since she was younger, and she knew for a fact that the time machine fully worked, even though it had never been used. 

She glanced at the time machine’s title once more, “OR 204”. It nagged her in her mind and she vaguely knew what they probably stood for, she decided to ask, hoping to prod more information.

“OR 204,” Suzuha said suddenly. Kurisu didn’t bother to flinch, keeping her eyes on the paper. Without turning, she responded evenly, as if not wanting to break with the words she would say.

“The numbers mean absolutely nothing,” Kurisu started. Suzuha almost rolled her eyes; that seemed to be a running trait in the ‘scientist’ world of her father as well, understanding the rationale behind it. She remained silent as Kurisu continued.

“But...as for the letters…”

For a moment she choked, but regained her strength. Suzuha felt her insides twist in pain as she watched as Kurisu struggled to form the words on her mouth, letting herself say the name off her tongue, probably the first time in years.

“...Okabe Rintarou. Someone...who meant a lot.”

Suzuha nodded in return, avoiding her gaze from Kurisu’s. The pained expressions on her face was too much for her to bear as she gazed towards the wall instead. 

“So tell me about him,” Suzuha stated. “Who is he, and why did he mean a lot to you?”

At this, Kurisu smiled wistfully. Breathing in, she laughed a bit before beginning.

“Okabe Rintarou...is an idiot,” she began. “He’s a man who makes a fool out of himself, who’s obnoxious with his ideas of grandeur, and someone who’s just utterly frustrating.”

“But....despite all of that…” Kurisu trailed off before shaking her head, in what seemed like an attempt to clear her clouded mind.

“He’s...a good guy. He always knew when something was wrong. He’s never straight forward about it, but his intentions were clear.”

“Loud, arrogant, proud...but when he loves something so dearly, he’s never afraid to voice it. He’ll express his whole world and pour out his heart in an attempt to grab the one thing that means so much to him.”

Sighing, she reached the bottle before retracting her hand, realizing Suzuha was still watching her. She clenched her hand into a fist before continuing.

“And I…” 

She trailed off, suddenly realizing the tears began to flow without showing signs of stopping. Suzuha reached forward in an attempt to soothe her, but Kurisu shook her head, swinging her body in the chair and facing her, the pain in her expression deepening.

“I let him go. I let him go, Suzuha.”

She shook her head furiously. “I’m an idiot…! A hesitating, proud idiot who didn’t want to give in to what was really right, and instead followed the rules. I let go of this man who risked everything to be with me, and yet, I didn’t even try, not once…!”

She lightly banged the desk with her balled fist and leaned over to rub her temples, frustration streaking her expressions. And as she watched, Suzuha confirmed even more so as to why her father prevented her from seeing Kurisu on this day.

The emotion was too much to watch from the woman who always taught her how to be independent. 

Her independency became her downfall, ruining and tainting what could’ve and should’ve been.

Suzuha listened to Kurisu’s now silent sobs as the tears continued to fall. Closing her eyes, Suzuha spoke in a quiet voice, going straight to the heart of the matter.

“You talk about him as if he still exists...it’s because you loved him, didn’t you?”

Kurisu shook her head as she turned towards Suzuha once more. She smiled so excruciatingly painfully, causing Suzuha’s heart to shatter at the sight.

“I still do, Suzuha. Every single day of my life since then.”

“And,” she continued, “what makes matters worse is that he doesn’t even know.”

She threw her arms in the air. “I mean, what kind of horrible person kisses a man more than three times and  _ never _ tell him how much he’s loved?”

She pointed at herself begrudgingly. “Me, I’m that horrible person! I never told him how much I cared for him! I never told him that I was worried sick looking for him in the desert that one October when he ran off! I never told him that I loved wearing his labcoat that same night when we waited for help! I never told him how much his kisses made me feel alive and myself again, and how much I just wanted him for myself!”

“But most of all,” Kurisu breathed, slowing down her words, “I never told him...how much I loved him.”

Whispering, she lowered her head. “And I think, that’s the worst part in all of this.”

When no other words were spoken, Suzuha let the silence ring over them, letting the words sink in. A part of her knew that Kurisu’s uncharacteristic yelling came from the intoxication of the drink, but a part of her was also grateful for it; Kurisu never voiced her emotions and, for once, it was relieving for Suzuha to finally see the true colors behind all of Kurisu’s sorrows over the years. 

She felt herself blushing a bit after hearing the words, but it confirmed her suspicions; Kurisu did indeed love the unseen man behind the initials. How he had that effect on the ever-so-proud Kurisu was beyond her, but she concluded he must have been a very, very special individual to be able to work past the walls and barriers Kurisu so often locked herself into. 

Okabe Rintarou. She rarely heard the name being said aloud, but when she did, she admittedly felt a slight twinge in her heart. It was oddly familiar and comforting; and when she once mentioned that to her father and to Mayuri, they both agreed on the same resonating feeling.

He loved her. She loved him. He was non-existent in this ‘worldline’ as it was explained, and she couldn’t help but realize the bittersweetness at how torn they both were. They were two star-crossed lovers never meant to be. 

Suzuha kept her gaze even as she spoke to Kurisu, voice steady.

“...I think it’s time that you go back to fix the things you’ve regretted all these years.”

Kurisu whipped her head up and squinted at her; there was no malice in her eyes, only a mix of fear and final resolve to not go back.

“I’ve told you and Daru multiple times....I’m not going back, and neither is anyone else-”

“But you’re unhappy here!” Suzuha exclaimed. “Just go back, and change things-”

“I can’t!”

Kurisu’s voice yelling over hers caught her off guard; as someone who’s typically guarded and level-headed in arguments, it was hard to process for a moment that Kurisu was the one that yelled over her. She quieted down as Kurisu took deep breaths.

“It’s the will of Okabe Rintarou for no one to ever use the machine.”

Suzuha shook her head, and quietly responded. “...then why bother making it, then?”

When Kurisu looked away, Suzuha gritted her teeth and stood up, almost knocking the chair over.

“Why did you bother making the machine if you’re not even going to use it?!” 

Breathing slow breaths, Suzuha attempted to calm down, lowering her voice as she spoke. 

“...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled my voice at you.”

Kurisu shook her head, still not glancing at Suzuha. There was regret in her eyes, Suzuha could tell, and shame as she spoke. 

“That’s okay. I know I deserve it.”

Suzuha sighed as she stared at her once more. Loosely crossing her arms, she shook her head, her gaze casted downwards.

“...you’re suffering, Auntie. And it hurts more than just you alone.”

Kurisu didn’t respond to her remark; instead, she kept her gaze away, as if she knew all too well how her actions affected others.

“You know,” she started, “I had a dream last night. I was laying next to him, and I remember him saying all these emotional words as he opened up to me...I don’t know where we were, of course. All I remember hearing the ocean waves in the distance and it was kind of dark.”

She shook her head smiling bitterly. “The worst part of it all is that I remember wearing rings on my hand.”

Suzuha shook her head. “...then why are you wasting your time telling me this? Go back and-”

“No,” Kurisu adamantly replied. “I realize now that...in another world line, another me is happy. Another me is with him. Another me wasn’t an idiot and actually  _ tried _ much harder to stay with him.”

“It’s true,” she said, before Suzuha could interject. “Only one world line is ever active at one point in time. But, if another world line were to shift this one away, and that world line is where I’m happy with him…”

She closed her eyes. “I’d be okay with that. Somewhere, in some other time, I’m happy. And that’s enough to keep me going here, just as he wanted me to.”

Suzuha sighed, stepping forward and attempting one last time to break through to her. 

“...do you hear yourself? Do you hear how much you’re in pain? How much you love him? How much you regret not ever doing the things your younger self could have done…?”

She balled her hand into a fist, and then relaxed, attempting to calm herself down so as to not yell to someone older than her. 

“Please, go back,” she quietly said. “Go back to a time where you weren’t this stubborn. To a time where you knew you were brave enough to be with him. That way, you could have a much brighter future!”

“You can tell him how you feel,” she continued. “You can get closure on something you’ve dwelled on for so long and have a future where you can finally, and openly, love someone!”

Suzuha closed her eyes for a second, and looked away as she opened them slowly, choosing her next words as she spoke.

“There can be a future where I can finally call someone ‘Uncle’”.

Kurisu visibly flinched at the implication, before shaking her head. Sighing, she rubbed her temples once more, and it was then Suzuha noticed a tear streaking down her face as her sigh shakily escaped her lips.

“I…need some time alone. I’m so sorry...Suzuha.”

Suzuha clenched her fist once more, breathing in to speak again, but instead, sighed in defeat. Slowly, she turned around to exit the room, not before turning around one last time to see the figure of someone hunched over on a paper-littered desk, in a state of visible despair.

\----

The sounds of the time machine came to life as Suzuha quickly punched in the year of 2011 into the number pad, it reacting in equal tandem to her rushed state of emotion. As soon as all the coordinates were punched in, she hesitated before pressing the button that would leap her back to that year, the year he disappeared. 

“Okabe Rintarou, Okabe Rintarou…”

She quietly repeated his name in repetition, letting the name roll of her tongue. And, though she thought better against it, she dared to speak the words she would wish would come true after her mission.

“...Uncle Okabe, Uncle Okabe….Uncle Okarin- eh?”

The last set of words came on instinct without her even thinking of it; where had ‘Okarin’ come from?

She didn’t know, but without a doubt, she felt a feeling of familiarity and warmth as the words came out of her mouth. Smiling, she realized that was her answer alone to keep her moving forward.

Reaching into her bag next to her, she pulled out her father’s hat and securely placed it on her head, nodding as she did so. With one last glance towards the machine door, she nodded in determination to her decision.

“Sorry, Auntie Kurisu, I’ll be borrowing this for awhile. Don’t worry, though; I’ll finish the work that you couldn’t and knock some sense into your stubborn, younger self.”

Pressing the button, she grasped the chair handles tightly, in preparation for the G-forces that were about to take place. She nodded one more time before it occurred.

“Let’s get to work, OR 204.” 


	5. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Day 5, "Scars". This was actually based on this headcanon of mine I posted awhile back:
> 
> “-Kurisu first notices the scar on Okabe’s abdomen during a beach trip with all the lab members. He never took off his shirt once, but when the wind caught on underneath his shirt and lifted it just a bit, she realized it all. When she asked him about it, he suggested to tell her later that night, where she was able to see it without having the other lab members question it.“
> 
> You all knew this kind of prompt would be coming some day, so here we are lol. Enjoy!

“...is that what I really think it is?”   
  


They were back in the joined suite room which roomed all the lab members on their current beach vacation trip. It was almost similar to a mini apartment, complete with three separate bedrooms, a living room, and a small kitchen area. It was an ideal space and an ideal trip, all thought out by Faris herself, as her family owned said hotel business by the ocean and thought it be a good idea for all the lab members to go on a weekend beach trip together. (Of course, men and women were in separate rooms, as adamantly emphasized by a certain assistant in the group). 

Now, back in the non-lit living room with only the city lights and moonlight from outside illuminating the space, Kurisu faced the doors that led to the balcony and voiced her question without so much turning to face him. He sat on the couch, carefully regarding her from behind, understanding the implication of her question. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, clearly at a loss as to how to present the current matter.

“It...is.”

At this, she turned around, gazing at him with a tired expression. 

“Why didn’t you tell me…?”

As he stared at her, he shook his head, clear disagreement and strain in his voice.

“It’s...not like I wouldn’t have figured you would’ve asked one day. It’s just something...I thought it not necessary to show you.”

Kurisu loosely crossed her arms and then uncrossed them restlessly, letting a small silence fill the air between them. Slowly, she walked up to him and stopped just before his knees, looking down in careful observation.

“...I was involved too, you know.”

He nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I know.”

Pausing for a moment, she continued to stare at him, hunched over at the edge of the couch, carefully avoiding her gaze. There were little things about him that had her realize that he had indeed gone through hell and back for her and the toll for that showed itself in both his physical and psychological demeanor.

However, despite the fact, he tried everyday to to revive himself, slowly picking up the pieces of who he one was and who he was now because of everyone. There were small efforts he put into, even more so when he tried to be with her; on the contrary, she found him still somewhat distant at times.

It frustrated her to a certain degree. Why, even all that he had been through, did he still find himself holding back after these past few years? 

She gritted her teeth. No, she knew it wasn’t her place to push him to express himself. What he had seen was nothing compared to what she saw that day, when said area she was referring to made its mark on  _ him _ .

Slowly lowering herself to her knees and as delicately as she could approach the topic, she mustered up the courage to finally give the request she had been holding back.

“...show me.”

Okabe visibly flinched at her request, of course, and there was hesitancy in his movements as he first brought up his clasped hands to his mouth in question. He stayed in that position for some time before he slowly, and hesitatingly, lifted the bottom part of his shirt just above the area of the long-time healed wound.

Kurisu’s eyes widened. It was a scar that had long ago healed, leaving a severe mark on his torso area. The area had been surgically stitched to the best that medical professionals could do, she noted by some of the indentations and lining of the scar, but it was still evident that it was a damaging wound that seemed much larger than it actually was supposed to be.

And then, she saw it. The top and bottom edges of the wound looked jagged, more torn and unfinished, as if…

As if someone had forcibly torn his wound open when it was still fresh.

She always had her suspicions when she woke up that day in a pool of blood, but never in her mind did it cross her that he had to do  _ much more damage _ to himself in order for the set up to occur. 

Instinctively, she brought her hand up and began tracing the edges of the wound, which were now smoothed out after years of healing and time. Okabe didn’t protest as she began to trail her hand down the scar, her hand curious at the touch and a mind lost in thought. It was careful and cautious, just like her, in a way.

There were no words she could express as she stared at the sight before her. It was a permanent mark now forever imprinted on his torso, a permanent impression created from despair, sorrow, suffering, motivation, determination, and love. 

He truly did love and care for the people he loved most. 

Without thinking, she bent forward, leaning her head against his torso and against the scar, sighing as she did so. The amount of suffering that he faced was something she will never understand, but being here was the least that she could do.

“Thank you…” she quietly whispered, “for suffering so much for me.”

She felt a slight vibration from his torso, as she realized he chuckled slightly. As she looked up slowly at him in confusion, he merely gave a small smile and shook his head. She smiled in return and closed her eyes, understanding his response.

“Something I said in another world line, huh?”

Okabe said nothing as he regarded her in careful observation. Gently, he brushed a stray bang from her face before lowering his hand and he shook his head again.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re here right now, and that’s all that matters.”

For a moment, she felt herself flush from slight embarrassment before she realized how long she had been staring at him. The space between them seemed to be minimizing, and before she knew it, he had gently pressed his forehead against hers in silent admiration, taking in every single part of her as she was before him. 

And just as she was about to completely close the space, the door of the suite suddenly opened, revealing the rest of the lab members as they poured in quickly. Okabe quickly pulled his head away, landing softly on the couch; Kurisu, unfortunately, was not as lucky as she scooted back quickly and landed on the floor, narrowly missing the coffee table in her flustered state. 

At this, Daru quirked his eyebrow and opened his mouth to protest before Faris spoke first, winking as she did so.

“Hmm? Did we interrupt something between you and Ku-nyan, Kyouma?”

“It’s nothing, nothing!” Kurisu yelled in frustration as she stood up, walking to the room she shared with Mayuri. She quickly closed the door in embarrassment, Mayuri crossing the room to follow Kurisu in. She sheepishly smiled at (a very embarrassed) Okabe, laughing at bit as she did so.

“Sorry, Okarin, but Mayushii thinks you’ll probably have to apologize to Kuris-chan later.”

Okabe sighed, running his hand through his face as he heard Mayuri closed the door. He could only vaguely hear Daru and Faris’ teasing remarks and Luka’s embarrassed comments as his mind began to reel to the previous moments before.

He placed his hand over the scar once more, still feeling the heat from her head when she had leaned against it; it was a small action, but something that he never knew he would’ve appreciated, feeling closure between what he thought was forbidden to show her.

In the distance, he could hear the door to Mayuri and Kurisu’s room open and he groaned. He probably would have to apologize, but at least this time she was here with him.


	6. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For day 6, "Date".

“Nobody likes a man who can’t remember dates.”

Okabe’s ears twitched at the remark, and slowly, he looked up at her, squinting his gaze at her. 

“Hm? Says the virgin-”

“T-that’s besides the point! And why are you even changing the subject?” Kurisu exclaimed, crossing her arms and staring away from him. He merely shrugged and cocked his head back in a pride manner eyeing her closely.

“You’re the one who mentioned people not liking a man who can’t remember dates.”

“Well, it’s the truth!” 

Okabe was a bit taken aback for a moment as she exclaimed at him, and noticed her flustered expression as she looked away. When she felt his eyes on her, she turned around sheepishly, facing the development room.

“W-what? Your staring is creeping me out.”

Okabe bursted into his iconic laugh and proceeded to bring a hand to his chin, observing her closely.

“If I were mistaken, Christina, it sounds like  _ you _ have a thing or two to say about this topic.”

Kurisu shook her head. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about-”

“What’s your ideal date?” Okabe interjected suddenly, causing Kurisu to choke and take a step back from him as she turned around to face him, eyes in shock.

“Where are you even going with your mind, jumping around on these topics?! And why are we even talking about this?!”

Okabe straightened up and he walked around her, speaking with a taunting voice.

“It seems like the great assistant thinks she knows more about life despite her virgin experience, so let’s hear it; what’s your ideal date?”

Kurisu shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about this with  _ you _ , of all people.”

He grinned. “It sounds like someone is admitting defeat-”

“I am not!” she exclaimed back. “I just don’t even think this is  _ appropriate  _ to talk about because I highly doubt you’d understand a word of it, anyway.”

Okabe gritted his teeth. “Now, assistant, there’s a limit to rudeness-”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she sarcastically interrupted once more, “I didn’t realize you were talking to a mirror this whole time.”

Okabe looked at her frustratingly as she eyed him with a glint of triumph in her gaze at his reaction. Crossing his arms, held his head high and closed his eyes in thought.

“An ideal date,” he started, “would always involve having a white lab coat.”

Kurisu sighed. “And you expect to get with someone with  _ that _ kind of attitude? Please.”

“And here we are, full circle again,” Okabe dramatically revealed. “Since I mentioned my idea, I think it’s about time you present yours.”

She looked at him in frustration for a moment before sighing as she walked to the whiteboard. Erasing its contents, she began to draw three separate columns; the first one labeled “introduction/beginning”, second as “food”, and third as “outing”. She turned around to face him with a hesitant look on her face as she began to explain.

“First impressions are always key,” she said as she looked at him. “Of course, something you wouldn’t know about…”

“Secondly, food is important,” she began again before he could interrupt. “Science has proven that food helps improve the brain’s circulation in order to keep up a good conversation. The body works on food as a source of energy and without it, the date would be fairly boring without it. It also serves as a social time when you’re face to face with someone.”

Okabe crossed his arms. “Because you would know this.”

Kurisu shook her head. “I’m at least  _ trying _ ! Better than your one pointer about ‘lab coats’.”

“Anyway,” she continued, “an outing is usually a good way to end a date. Whether it be walking somewhere, visiting a museum, I don’t know; something that involves both of the people to be interacting together. Because that way, they know each other a little more.”

When she realized how silent Okabe had gotten and was merely staring at her, she looked away, flustered, as she crossed her arms once more.

“I-in any case! I’d feel sorry for your future date,  _ if _ you ever have one.”

Okabe crossed his arms in response, nodding in agreement. 

“There is no one in this world who can match my madness, because a mad scientist doesn’t need a partner!”

As he began to laugh his characteristic laugh, Kurisu could only facepalm as she shook her head.

\----------

Okabe leaned back into the park bench, the sun recently setting, with the sky now streaked with purple and dark blue hues. He could only chuckle to himself as the memory of their interaction from years ago, it suddenly taking on form in his mind.

Kurisu looked up at him from her seated position next to him in question. He only shook his head.

“Nothing. Something I remember you told me from years ago.”

She looked off in the distance in thought, before she nodded. 

“Did it have to do with something about ideal dates...?”

He looked at her with some surprise before she slightly laughed at him. 

“I had a weird dream that we were talking about it in the lab,” she began. “I thought it was too weird of a topic for it  _ not _ to be real at some point in some world line so I just dismissed it because it really was a stupid argument.”

“At least,” she said, crossing her arms, “my points were perfectly sound. Yours were just stupid.”

Okabe only scoffed at her response, which earned him a slight glare. That didn’t stop him, however, as he wrapped one arm around her waist to bring her closer.

“...so, did you feel sorry for yourself on today’s date, then?”

He earned a slight nudge on the side from her as she pouted for a moment, and then shyly smiled at the question.

“Shut up. At least we’re not wearing white lab coats right now.”

He chuckled at the comment, staring down at her. 

“So you admit that you have some madness, then?”

Kurisu nudged him a bit before leaning on his shoulder, sighing in content.

“Fortunately; who else could match yours?”


	7. Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Day 7, "Future". 
> 
> So this chapter in particular is intentionally connected with the prompt "Promise". It's not necessary to read "Promise" first, but there is a slight connection between the two!
> 
> Enjoy. ~

Kurisu sighed as she sat on the bench in front of the CRTV shop, glancing up towards the stairs that led up to the laboratory just before she sat. Breathing in slowly to catch her breath, she looked up towards the spring sky, the temperature remotely cool on a late afternoon day.

She turned towards the stairs as she heard the familiar  _ tok tok _ sound going down the stairs, revealing him as he turned the corner to sit on the bench with her. He sighed once he sat down slowly, placing his cane against the side of the bench in the spot between he and her, catching his breath as he leaned back into the bench next to her. Smirking, she nodded towards the upstairs lab.

“Can’t keep up with them anymore?”

Okabe looked at her with some fatigue in his expression as he laughed a bit in return.

“I forget how lively kids are,” he responded with a huff. “I don’t think I can handle another grandchild at this rate.”

“What, are you calling yourself old?” Kurisu remarked.

He stared at her, expression unchanging. “Kurisu, we’re 76, and that’s plenty old.”

She shook her head in response, in disagreement. “And this is where the Theory of Relativity comes into play.”

Okabe crossed his arms. “Deny it all you want, but Theory of Relativity won’t get us out of this realistic situation.”

Kurisu paused for a moment before chuckling, giving into his sarcastic remark. She nodded upstairs once more.

“Sounds like they want to keep the lab.”

Okabe grinned at this comment. “Of course. My legacy as the mad scientist founder still lives on, so it’ll keep on going no matter what.”

Kurisu rolled her eyes. “You’re such an idiot.”

With that, they both paused to hear the sounds of Akihabara still fully active, even after decades of change. It was an interesting fact, Kurisu realized, how much time can both change and preserve so many aspects without them realizing it. 

As she brought her arms out in front of her for a gentle stretch (earning her a couple of crepitus cracking noises as she did so), she noticed Okabe lost in thought once more, staring out into the sky. She nudged him softly, earning a somewhat spaced-out look from him.

“I hate to ask, but what’s going on in your mind right now?”

He stared at her for a moment and, unsurprisingly, she never turned away from his gaze. To himself, he wanted to laugh; the years of their time together had her become accustomed to having him silently observe her. When she stopped turning away he couldn’t quite remember, but, like all things with time, it came naturally.

He broke her gaze and looked off with a reminiscent look in his eyes.

“It’s been fifty years, hasn’t it?” 

Kurisu gazed at him for a moment more before leaning back once more on to the bench. She nodded slowly and smiled, her eyes becoming distant with nostalgic thoughts for a moment.

“Hm, someone should give me an award for sticking up with you for this long.”

Okabe’s laughed as he listened to her response. “The best assistant,” he nostalgically responded.

She rolled her eyes. “Your  _ only _ assistant, thank you very much.”

He nodded at her response; hearing how long she had been his ‘assistant’ had his emotions reeling for a moment, as it suddenly hit him how long time had gone in front of them within a blink of an eye. Gently, he placed his hand on top of hers which she responded by intertwining her fingers within his, a loose grasp between their interlocked hands. 

Okabe closed his eyes for a moment, as if remembering past memories. He gently shook her hand, grabbing her attention as he spoke.

“Do you remember what I told you that time we were in Hawaii?”

Kurisu looked up at him in question, nodding slowly as she responded. “Yes...why do you bring that up now?”   
  


Okabe breathed in slow breaths before responding, contemplation in his eyes as he opened them. 

“Just in case things don’t go as well as they should tomorrow...”

Kurisu tightened her grip on his hand, nodding at the cane place between them. “You’re getting a hip replacement surgery, Rintarou, not a death sentence,” she blatantly pointed out. “You’ll probably need a walker instead of your cane after all this, but there won’t be that much of a difference.”

He inwardly cringed when she mentioned the fact that he will indeed have to use a walker after surgery (as if that didn’t make him look old enough already), but that didn’t prevent him from noticing the tone in her voice; it was light and sarcastic, but a part of it was laced in some fear and anxiety; sure he was going under general anesthesia which he had gone under for a number of other procedures in the past, but a part of him always wanted to speak with her first about everything and anything.

Because what he feared most was waking up in a new world line.

Maybe, he shouldn’t have brought up this topic at this moment, but he knew it better now than never in the ‘ _ just in case’ _ thought process that so often clouded his mind when a potentially life-changing event occurred.

“I know,” he responded, as he began to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb as he spoke. 

“But I just wanted to ask you once more, because, well…”

His voice trailed off, at a loss of words as he continued to slowly rub his thumb across the backside of her soft hand. Slowly and surely, she tightened her grasp on his again, and she chuckled a bit before speaking.

“It’s funny how you bring up that time from fifty years ago because I was just thinking about it the other day.”   
  


Okabe looked at her in question as she gazed at him for a second before flickering her eyes to the street once more.

“Everything you told me that night...they’re words I held on close to my heart. I can’t ever forget how I felt during that night I had spent with you.”

“In those few hours, I had never felt so alive,” she continued. “I didn’t think, not once in my life, that I would end up falling in love so much with one person; how you, one person out of millions in this world, would change how I see the word ‘love’”. 

She smiled a bit, keeping her gaze away from his. “You know? You taught me that love isn’t just the superficial kind that everyone views it as. Time let me learn from you that love is unconditional; it doesn’t judge, it doesn’t fear, and it doesn’t give up. Love holds on to you, supporting your soul and gently caressing your thoughts as it slowly diminishes any self-doubt or distrust. Love is respect that’s a two-way communication street between two people; it holds justice and understanding on both sides, never leaving one person at a disadvantage. Love is being present; whether it be physically, emotionally, digitally…”

She heard him chuckle at the last sentence, flashbacks of their long-distance conversations suddenly filling his mind, from their relationship and into their marriage when work sometimes had them separate for some weeks at a time. He shook his head at the thought in disbelief how they managed to overcome those temporary trials.

She breathed in one last time, this time, gazing up at his eyes, still maintaining the smile from earlier.

“Love,” she concluded, “is you.”

“I’ll never stop falling for you, Rintarou. The world can shift, stop, or separate me from you, but always know that I’m there for you, at any point in time.”

A light flush tinted her now much older and weary face, but he still found the sight beautiful and nostalgic to see; some habits of hers never change throughout the years. 

And as if on instinct, he leaned down and placed a firm kiss to the top of her head near her temples, slowly taking his time while doing so. As he pulled away, he felt his breath catch as he stared at her features. She was still as stunning and as beautiful than ever, no matter how much time had caught up to them; because in his eyes, she was as timeless in his mind as she could ever become.

She looked away momentarily, her eyes in deep thought.

“Hey, only one world line is ever active at one time, right?”

He nodded at her question, and at this, her smile grew as she turned to face him once more.

“And every time I dream, or mention another world line, we’ve always crossed paths, right?”

As Okabe thought about it, he shook his head a bit in careful contemplation. “I’d say...maybe about a 90% probability, yes.”

Kurisu shrugged at the number, still determined. “That’s only a 10% difference; in all the dreams I’ve had with different memories and events, I’d say less than ten of them didn’t have you…”

“But that’s besides the fact,” she continued. Perking up, she gazed at him once more.

“In every single world line, we’ve crossed paths and at some point, began to care for each other more than we thought we would. If we were to, hypothetically say you accidentally time jump momentarily into another world line and year by some freak accident…”

She smiled. “We’d still be falling in love, no matter the world line.”

She gently shook his hand that was still intertwined with hers and she laughed to herself. 

“So don’t be afraid about tomorrow, about waking up if you find yourself somewhere else...because no matter what world line, no matter what time, or what year, we’ll still be together, no matter what.”

Okabe watched as her features brightened at the words, letting each one escape her mouth with such ease and lightness; it was enough for him to smile in return as he shook his head.

“An infinite future together? Only a mad scientist would somehow think of that loophole.”

Kurisu leaned up towards him, softly kissing the tip of his nose in a teasing way, grinning as she pulled away.

“It’s only taken me fifty years of living with one to learn what’s best.”


End file.
